Yikes! Do y’all know about this sadism? I didn’t when I stumbled upon otter sex off the gulf coast of Florida last month totally high after watching a pod of dolphins swim by as I did yoga on the beach. I mean I guessed there were unequal amounts of pleasure being experienced by the two participants. Male sleek and aggressive on top of female, her bleating loudly from the bottom.
Makes me muse on what a strange year it’s been to be a sexual being. Identify as Poly. Practice queering the world with pleasure, writing, and love. I’ve admitted in new ways how much I want to be special, touched, cared for. I noticed wild desires to be simultaneously commanding and gentle. Vulnerable confidences pulse through me as I tenderize my heart. I’m asking how can I be more trusting and trustworthy in relationship. Am I as poetic and agile a person as I think I am? Also, I see how awareness, like nature, unfolds in its own time, how my mind unwinds as it does. And how aggressively I fight against the realization that my role is to walk alongside it all.
Speaking of, as of 2021 I’ve been walking alongside my bigLake for 20 years. There are a million lessons gleamed from living here- especially being trans and wild like the landscape. There’s a seasonal art to making things happen at certain times of the year and (similar to pandemic-ing) accepting limitations too.
Leaves me with more questions at the end of the year about how to play with this constantly queering time+space continuum. The newest curiosities- what skills+boundaries can I flex even further as I fly solo, celebrate celibacy, and swim between mono and poly loving?
This year has invited me to decenter romantic relationships, see into quarantine intimacies (= the wanting/needing to be only one vs not wanting/needing to be only one), and accept just how watery and vulnerable I feel SO much of the time in relationship (makes sense Venus in cancer And a life on water = 5years (Miami)+2 years (Burlington Vermont) +20 years (bigLake Duluth Minnesota)+ 38 summers (western New York Chautauqua Lake cottage love).
Here’s to queering 2021 as we safely live more fluidly + compassionately in our relationships aware of the sea change of pleasure and intimacy and freedom all around us.