After the third, the phrase “I’m fun to have sex with” floated through my head. I noticed it and smiled. This last week has been all about dedication to watching thoughts come up and choosing not to get carried away by them. It was a mild flirting with the idea of death, or moreover, the idea of letting go of all I absolutely Love about life- and there is SO FREAKING MUCH I do love.

A crush is a spark, a match, do I want to feed the fire? Fire, light, life, sex. All of this sits right here between us at the Spring Equinox. I want to feel my fire, light, life, sex in ways known and unknown. That is the best way to describe this moment. Spring equinix if the balance of the known and the unknown. It is really quite delicious.

This is about training my brain and head and body. Letting go and allowing intuition to steer, trust my human foot on the gas, the new and substantive places I can go.  Right now SIMC is the option, andnd Duluth feminism.

Oh radical queer feminist crushes, feelings, desires to fuck in a small town. Exciting and  disconcerting. Free and constrained. Confusing and fun. She likes me and I’m turned on by them. Focus wide and then come back to center. Push and then relax. Routine, ritual and then ahhhhh! shake it up.

I want to say to Duluth, “Fucking talk about sex++. The ‘hard’ issues. The things that make you squirm, shrink, squeeze yourself into crazee small spaces. In queer creative ways god dammit. For effing sake.”