Erin O'daniel is a writer, artist and gender expansive womxn living in Duluth, Minnesota

I Am Fun to Have Sex With

Holy! After a week with a boob lump scare , I’m feeling immense relief after my mammogram and meeting with the radiologist yesterday (All Breasts Are A Go ! I repeat all boobs are healthy !). So much relief that I experienced some of the best orgasms of the year (see 2017 An Orgasm a Day) this morning. Full release, full pleasure, fantastic fantasy.

After the third, the phrase “I’m fun to have sex with” floated through my head. I noticed it and smiled. This last week has been all about dedication to watching thoughts come up and choosing not to get carried away by them. It was a mild flirting with the idea of death, or moreover, the idea of letting go of all I absolutely Love about life- and there is SO FREAKING MUCH I do love.

And one component of loving is recognizing the feeling, how good it feels , how natural it feels to enjoy all the beauty and pleasure right here, offered now. I became acutely aware that is what loving, agency, full engagement means to me at this point in my life. It also means not control the emotions that arise. Accepting them and moving one. There is a naturalness in this for me. Loving is easy for me. In noticing the ease, I so beyond love and recognized other specific parts of life that I do well, live fully engaged. And this full engagement feels amazing. Like I’m lit and using all six cylinders while fully grounded and tuned into myself and others with working, dynamic boundaries and intelligence.

I made a commitment last week to myself. To focus on myself and this natural state of well-being, that I call thriving, and to allow even more of it. Again, it is beyond controlling or over achieving. It is allowing and enjoying at my fullest. And thus, this mornings post. A Fun exploration/translation of my  sexual being/best, what feels most natural for me to be experiencing as a sexial being.

This morning I felt how fun I am to have sex with. My ability to let go, enjoy my own body, the sensations that come up and roll through, the endless possibilities and the familiar comfortable fantasies, positions and toys.  It is all here inside of me. As I explore expanding my sexual life (I’m aving fun again getting to know someone online- Spring!) and feeling the love vibe in a renewed and vibrant way in Duluth, I love taking what I learned last week and applying it here.

It is my natural state to be connected sexually and experience fun, light, fantastic pleasure with others. It is also my natural state to be sexing myself up frequently, with delight and wonder.  Focusing on how this feels and the confidence in my ability to experience such pleasure, leaves little room for doubt or fear or concern about lack.

Last week, I rode a white stallion around that showed me all the places of clarity inside me- about how, where, when I thrive.  Loving who we are and what we do and what we give time to, is simple and freeing. I am good at having sex and fun to have sex with. I’m sitting with that truth this next week. And seeing what it creates in my waking and dreaming life.L as    t week was simultaneously a great softening a great stretngtheing.

 

North+South Love= QIwP

Springing into “Ethical Non Monogamy”