Erin O'daniel is a writer, artist and gender expansive womxn living in Duluth, Minnesota

Drinking Love Potion All Day Every Day

I’m imagining the last time I drank bubble tea. There’s something fun, extraordinary, luxurious, and delicious about the beverage. I’m a fan.

I consistently muse on engaging my heart more, in romance and my work for social justice, around family and out in the wide, wild world. I’ve challenged myself in the last year to grow more space and strength in how and when and where I hold a loving heart. It’s that same sensation as falling in love yet stretches and breathes in all parts of my life when I’m really working it. It feels amazing.

Recently I had a couple doozie headaches. All night affairs- not of the wanted variety. I took a heavy dose of ibuprofen and the pain pretty much went away. During some sort of mental struggle last week I remembered the ease and subtlety of my action and relief. I opened a small white plastic bottle poured four brilliant orange pills into my hand, popped them in my mouth and waited to feel better. Have the struggle of head pain be lifted.

Several days afterwards, I used the medicine metaphor to other parts of my life.  Essentially I was asking myself, “ How and when and with what resources/tools can I alleviate all struggle in my life?” “Why am I resisting the tools at my fingertips?

I thought of sex and romance in Duluth. “Hmmm, what can I employ to having the most satisfying, fun, expansive, delicious relationships possible here along the bigLake?” As a radical feminist sex positive gender variant queer it sometimes feels like quite the struggle. My analytical brain wants to point out how small the pool of compatible people really is. The creative side of my noggin likes to hammer home how helpful being solo here is to my art. While important to analyze the region with a critical lens (led me to this fabulous blog my fellow sex-y-pants bossBabes!)I realized those are not thoughts that bring me closer to an expanded anything I dream of- gender, sex, creativity and community.

The words love potion popped into my head. Still feeling the ease of taking the ibuprofen, let’s call this a feeling state, I started imagining what I want. The ultimate personal SiMC scenario.

That’s when the words “Love Potion” popped into my head. For a week now I’ve been viscerally aware of all the “love potions” the universe is literally always offereing me. with extended hands, support, sex positive resrouces, great work, strong and healthy body. Everytime I receive and enjoy and appreciate such things in my life, I’m ingesting a love potion. The ease of a headache abating, allowing something chosen by me self and outside of myself, is ultimately an act of reverence.

I don’t have to effort to find the love potions. Love potions abound motherfuckers!!! I just have to notice and pop ‘em. And allow the soothing and satiation to begin. And revel in it all.  There is an ease and subtlety that my western cultured, fast paced, immediate gratification loving self misses entirely.  

Here’s to drinking more love potions! Do it and report back to me please.  Love Love love those potions.

 

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